He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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