I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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