We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
