This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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