She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
4 words: hood of his car
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
