Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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