hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
