break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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