It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
