Three words: puerto rican gang bang
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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