I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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