just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize