I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
