Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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