in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
