i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
