he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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