It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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