I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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