So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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