oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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