Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize