so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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