I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
