i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
