Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
