we're blogging at a bar
I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
