just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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