well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize