its not stalking. its research.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
