Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
