I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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