OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
