Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
