doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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