SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Send help, water and tortillas.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
