So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
