So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
