the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
