therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
