I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
