is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
