So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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