We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
