so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
