What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
a search helicopter?!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
