bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
