I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Randomize
