I think my fart just growled at me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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