i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
the day after is always just damage control
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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