I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
