That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
