After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
