We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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