I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
