dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
