Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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