nut hugger
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
