Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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