are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
