Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
