from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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