think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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