you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
