Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
