The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
