You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
