Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
