I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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