You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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