Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
