You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
