Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
