are you still at the devil's house?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize