I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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