So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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